Anti-Valentine’s Day

I don’t think there’s any need to beat around the bush with today’s blog post. I absolutely CANNOT stand Valentine’s Day and every single year, I cringe as February 14th creeps closer and closer. I wish I could hibernate from mid-Jan to Feb 15th so I could avoid the vomit-inducing tradition that forces me to read bullshit marketing material like:

“Top 10 sexiest restaurants to take your loved one” –> 7 course meal for you lovebirds…at only £100 a head. Good deal.

“(Expensive) Gifts to show her you care” –> Because the more money you spend on me, the more it means you love me…right, bae? #nomoneynohoney

Gotta love this one…what’s better than diamonds? Diamond water, obviously.

Really? A whole new low...Really? A whole new low…

Even Sainsbury’s is sending me Valentine’s Day themed emails…hello, I don’t want to buy heart-shaped cookies and pink sparkling wine, OK!? #unsubscribe

I’d just like to add in here now that these are not words coming from a bitter and single spinster. These are words coming from a girl who appreciates thoughtfulness all year round and doesn’t want one particular day to be forced upon someone to prove their level of affection. The funny thing is, the day is SUPPOSED to represent romanticism when in actuality, it’s the complete antithesis of that. Valentine’s Day has now made it easy for people to turn their brain off when it comes to showing their S.O. that they ‘care’. Where’s the spontaneity and surprise element? Instead, a day of romance has been chosen, where gifts are readily available (oh, the power of suggestion) and thought is no longer required since advertisements and the masses have stated what’s appropriate to do and give. The world has essentially done everything possible to make romance as easy as possible, which really leaves me thinking that…#romanceisdead

This year, in particular, is filling me with #ValentinesDayRage. This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, which means I’m going to be subjected to the madness all day. If it fell on a weekday I could just go to work, go home, and avoid all the VDay shenanigans, but tomorrow as I walk out and about I’m going to see vendors fitting in their last attempts to sell their bouquets of red roses, helium heart balloons and jewellery stores staying open just a little while longer so people can pick up last-minute gifts. Ugh, it’s all so commercial.

But that’s not even the worst part of the weekend. Because get this, my most despised ‘holiday’ also coincides with the movie release of THE WORST BOOK EVER WRITTEN (you can read my sentiments on the book here).  50 Shades of Shit officially opens in theatres today so not only have I been forced to face the sickening lead-up to Valentine’s Day for the past three weeks, but now I’m predicting I’ll be forced to spend the next three weeks reading and hearing debates and reviews of this Oscar-worthy movie.  I should just ship off to the South Pole for the next month…I clearly shouldn’t be part of mainstream society at the moment, huh?

-Signed,

Valentine’s Day Protester

Edit: M asked me Friday night if I’d like to do anything tomorrow. I asked him why he was asking, to which he responded “For Valentine’s Day! Like a date!”. I don’t remember the last time he suggested a date night so all I can say is….Point. Totally. Proven.